It’s October. Time to talk horror. This year I’m reviewing a different horror movie each day of the month.
With a title like TerrorVision, a movie can go either way, but it won’t be mediocre. The very first shot is a close-up of the monster, which reminds me equally of Audrey II and the one-eyed creature from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. What we have here is a bonafide monster movie, which greatly tickles me. No plodding POV shots. No hiding in the shadows. Just front and center, for better or for worse.
In the cold open, an alien civilization disposes of something, which unsurprisingly finds its way to Earth. Cut to: the opening credits, which are accompanied by an 80s pop song designed specifically for the movie. It’s not a particularly good song, but it suggests TerrorVision is the kind of movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously. In other words, it’s right up my alley.
The Puttermans have just installed a tacky satellite dish on the edge of their property. Satellite receivers back then were the size of SETI dishes and were usually nestled between above-ground pools and broken trampolines. Grampa (Bert Remsen) thinks it’s a World War II era radar dish; when the family turns on an old war movie, he shouts, “Troop movements!” and tightens his grip on the loaded gun that never leaves his side.
The Puttermans’ little boy idolizes Grampa while the daughter is an MTV-obsessed mall rat. Mr. Putterman (Gerrit Graham) drives a Porche with the vanity plate MR. COOL and pursues the swinger lifestyle with his vain wife (Mary Woronov). While the couple is preparing to wife-swap, Mr. Putterman puts on his disco-flavored gold chains and complains that his daughter’s new boyfriend “looks ridiculous.” The boyfriend, by the way, is played by Jon Gries of Real Genius, The Monster Squad, and a hilarious death in Get Shorty.
What the Puttermans don’t know is a monster, which is later described as an energy being, has made their TV system its new home. Grampa and the little boy are the first to discover the terror in the television and waste no time arming themselves with military-grade weapons, stockpiled in the old man’s bunker beneath a confederate flag (of course). The monster begins picking victims off one by one and the movie doesn’t go amiss until it attempts an extended parody of E.T.
The acting is so over-the-top it goes well past the point of being funny, becomes downright obnoxious, and finds its way to funny again. Its sitcom-quality sets enhances the actors’ intentional goofiness as it takes a boiling hot piss-take on the superficiality of suburban life in the Reagan era. Terrorvision is a refreshingly fast-paced horror film which currently holds a 0% on the Rotten Tomatoes. Sure, it’s stupid, but it’s not stupid, if you know what I mean.
Come back at midnight Central Time for the next movie.
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