It’s October. Time to talk horror. I’ll focus on horror-related posts until Halloween comes and goes.  

And so it’s Halloween.

I’ve already given you thirty-nine of my favorite horror films and here are thirteen more. I had fun shifting over to horror this month (I plan to do it again next year), but I look forward to getting back to this blog’s usual topic: science fiction. William Gibson’s got a new novel out and so far it’s pretty awesome. And don’t forget Interstellar releases in a little over a week. Hopefully I can scrounge up thirteen more horror films for next year, but for now, this is the last one.

Spider-Baby

Here’s a wonderfully kooky film with Lon Chaney Jr and a surprisingly young Sid Haig. Even if you’re one of the misguided poor souls who think “Ew, black and white movies are yucky!” you’ll probably enjoy this movie. It’s just plain likable. If I had to guess, I’d say this is one of the films that make Tim Burton hard. The End ?

Chan-wook Park’s Thirst

This is the guy who made Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Old Boy, and Mrs. Vengeance (my favorite of the Vengeance trilogy). Much like Let the Right One In, Thirst came at a time I was so sick of vampire flicks I couldn’t see straight, which means this one had to be extremely likeable to make this list.

Hostel

I’ve long defended Hostel for not being as pointlessly insulting as the Saw films. Hostel really has an interesting “what-if?” premise with tones of adventure, which were absent from other torture films. Now, I don’t know why the hero thinks snipping an optic nerve is the best thing to do for a woman whose eye has been popped out, but all that matters is what happens next.

I’m an unashamed Eli Roth fan and I’m hopeful we’ll get to see his take on the cannibal genre sooner than later.

The Ninth Gate

I’m trying to only choose one movie per director for these lists, but since I let Clive Barker onto the list more than once, I might as well let Polanski slip in twice. The Ninth Gate has been pretty much disliked by critics and audiences since the beginning, but I always found it to be strangely compelling. For one, it puts a cool but despicable book dealer (Johnny Depp) in the shoes of a traditional detective role. I don’t know why, it’s just cool. Then it gives us a very creepy version of Frank Langella, who turns out to be a devil worshiper. Langella hires Depp to track down an antique book written by The Devil. The camerawork is good, the somewhat-classical soundtrack gets stuck in your head, and the “hero” of the film is refreshingly unheroic.

It’s just one of those movies that doesn’t deserve the hate it gets.

The Tingler

Everyone has their favorite William Castle film. This one’s mine. Castle was known for screening his movies in theaters rigged for real-life theatrics; The Tingler’s tour involved vibrating seats, which were designed to startle audience members and stimulate screams. Unfortunately the gimmicks is something that’s lost when watching Castle films on video, but the cool thing about The Tingler is the more important gimmick is built in, even when you watch at home: if you don’t scream, the tingler is gonna kill ya because the tingler lives inside of us all. Not that the movie is scary enough to make even children scream these days, but it was a great example of the kind of guy Castle was. (If you’re unfamiliar with Castle, John Goodman played a character like him in Joe Dante’s Matinee and John Waters has plenty to say about him in interviews and such.)

Frailty

Here’s another creepy movie with unusually good acting and direction. Supernatural films typically don’t scare me… although Frailty is not actually a supernatural film (or maybe it is… I don’t want to spoil it), it makes me uncomfortable during the final reveal because it makes you question everything it has shown you beforehand. It also makes you question the sanity of at least one of its characters. It may not fit into the neat little box most people label horror, but any movie that has axe murders deserves the designation.

The Toxic Avenger

The only reason The Toxic Avenger didn’t appear on this list sooner was A) it’s really not horror and B) it’s really, really not horror. I know I was just talking about horror being a neat little box that people use unfairly, but I’m admit it: I’m guilty of doing it, too. So to make up for that, I’ll include this—one of my all-time favorite films in general, genre not withstanding. And let’s face it, if you like horror movies, you’ll probably like this.

Basket Case

I’m kind of slapping myself in the forehead for not remembering this one sooner. I loved this movie as a kid. It’s probably what prepared me for the mind-fucking awesomeness of Raimi’s Evil Dead series. I wish I could say more about it, but I’m beginning to realize I need to watch it again, this time on something other than an aging VHS that’s been rented a million times.

The Blair Witch Project

I was hesitant to include this one on the list, but then I remembered just how enjoyable I found the movie when it came out. I think a lot of horror fans disliked the movie simply because it’s annoying when something like this gets crazy attention from the mainstream while better horror films usually don’t, but that’s no reason to hate it. It wasn’t the first found footage movie, either, but we should be honest with ourselves: it was probably the first one that was worth a shit.

Bride of Frankenstein

I always liked the original Frankenstein, but it wasn’t until my teenager years I realized that the sequel to the original was kind of like the sequel to Evil Dead: the humor was cranked up a few notches and shit just got plain weird. I love the addition of Dr. Pretorius, whose bizarre presence makes the film superior to the original. Speaking of Franken-stuff….

Frankenhooker

Here’s yet another film I can’t believe I forgot when I wrote the other lists. Like Basket Case, I haven’t seen it since well before DVD became an option, so I’m overdue for another viewing.

Return of the Living Dead

I must confess: I saw Return before I ever saw any of Romero’s zombie pictures, which would be pretty sad if Return of the Living Dead wasn’t such an awesome movie. I was so young the first time I saw this movie, I couldn’t even speak in complex sentences. I just called the movie “Braaaains!” This is the movie equivalent of punk music and the soundtrack is one of the coolest in the history of film. The casting is downright excellent, too.

The Slumber Party Massacre

Of all the nightgown-sleepover-slasher films (and I’ve seen way more than any sane individual should), The Slumber Party Massacre is my favorite. It’s funny, it’s wittingly ridiculous, and unlike meta-horror flicks like Scream, it’s not so damn wink-wink, nudge-nudge. Here’s the thing: the movie’s parody elements are so subtle, people unfamiliar with horror will probably think it’s just another horror film. Instead of a guy with a knife you get The Driller Killer, a psycho-murderer whose power tool of choice must have the world’s longest and most discreet extension cord. The film is also notable for being written and directed by women, including a well-known feminist. And The Driller Killer doesn’t get many lines, but when he does, they’re hilariously memorable for the bizarre deliverance alone. “I… love!… you?” I can’t think of many times I laughed so hard.

It’s October. Time to talk horror. I’ll focus on horror-related posts until Halloween comes and goes.  

Here are thirteen more of my favorite horror movies to complete yesterday’s post. By the time this posts I should be deep into Civilization Beyond Earth. Which makes me wonder why you’re reading this crap instead of playing that crap. (In case you’re wondering, there will eventually be a third list of thirteen, so don’t give me shit for not having Mario Bava or some such director on here yet.)

In no particular order….

From Dusk Till Dawn

From Dusk Till Dawn was the first movie I ever had on DVD. Because of this, I saw it way too many times. It wasn’t until I saw it again, recently with a drunk crowd, did I realize just how special it is. Now, how ’bout some apple pie pussy?

John Carpenter’s Halloween

Come on. You know I love John Carpenter films. This is the film that created the slasher flick as we know it and it has never been done better.

John Carpenter’s The Thing

See above reasoning. Add in the fact it’s a real monster movie, which is so frustratingly rare. Shake. Chill. Enjoy.

Nightmare on Elm Street 3

I know. You’re supposed to prefer the original. But this one improved on the mythology while pretending the second film in the series never happened. I would also like, as a society, to pretend the reboot never happened as well. Agreed? Good.

Opera

As a fan of horror, I should like a different Dario Argento film more than this one, but this is the one that always struck me, from the insane crane shot to the beginning to the use of both opera and heavy metal music. The scene involving a knife and a chin (you’ll know it when you see it) is so simple, but effective you’ll never forget it, even when you see a lesser film rip it off. Suspiria is a close second to me, but I haven’t seen either one in more than a decade, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Silence of the Lambs

If you don’t think Silence of the Lambs is horror, I feel bad for you, son.

What’s scary about Silence of the Lambs is not that Hannibal is running amok, but that he’s able to get into your head from within his cell, even if he’s bound to a handcart. Psychics and mind readers don’t exist in real life (seriously, don’t be a baby—they really don’t), but Hannibal just might. I think I could outrun any zombie, outsmart Jason and Freddy, but the last person I want to meet is Hannibal Lector. My redneck love for beer and titty movies would be so utterly at odds with his sophisticated tastes he’d probably be eating my liver in a matter of minutes.

The Human Centipede

I’ve noticed most of the people who declare they hate this movie haven’t actually seen it. Well, fuck ’em. Ten years from now, people will look back on this one and realize that A) it’s not nearly as disgusting as they thought it was and B) it’s a classic. Okay, maybe classic is going too far, but the film is remarkably well made considering all the negative hype. With the news that Tom Six is making a third film in the franchise, I can only hope it does enough business to get to the point we see The Human Centipede in Space. Because I really want to see a human centipede in space. Imagine filming that on the vomit comet.

Alien

When I was a kid, I preferred the sequel. Now that I’m older, I come back to this one more frequently. I’m not saying this one is better (wait… yeah I am), but it’s the difference between a soft fuck and a hard fuck: sometimes you prefer one to the other, but they’re both pretty damn good.

Lord of Illusions

Again, another movie that gets points just for being about adults and, surprise-surprise, it’s also by Clive Barker. In case anyone’s wondering, yes: the CGI looked just as laughably bad back then as it does now (I was twelve when it came out and we were ripping on this movie’s CGI so, so hard). Thankfully, Barker limited his use of it so it’s not a complete wash.

Tales from the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight

Here’s a goofy, but very fun picture. It’s also the only Tales from the Crypt Presents film worth watching. Billy Zane is hilarious in it, as is the Crypt Keeper’s bookends.

Interview with the Vampire

Goddamn, this movie is good. Sure, I’m partial to Neil Jordan movies, but that’s not the only reason I like it. Or maybe it is… I’ve never been able to get into an Anne Rice book.

The Re-Animator

No! I gave him life! What’s not to love about Jeffery Combs and, again, my all-time favorite scream queen, Barbara Crampton? Speaking of these two…

From Beyond

This is almost a non-sequel sequel to The Re-Animator and it’s certainly a lot better than Bride of Re-Animator. No, I’m not just choosing it because Barbara Crampton goes all dominatrix in it.

It’s October. Time to talk horror. I’ll focus on horror-related posts until Halloween comes and goes. 

Okay, I’m phoning this one in. Civilization Beyond Earth comes out in about ten hours and I know this blog will likely suffer. Here’s a bullshit list that doesn’t mean anything. I know, lists suck.

If there’s a remake by the same title, I’ll use the director’s name to differentiate between titles. Also, none of this is in any particular order other than Dawn of the Dead, which just happens to be first.

George Romero’s Dawn of the Dead

This is my favorite horror film ever. Tom Savini goes nuts and there’s not a lick of CGI in the entirre feature, so anyone who complains it looks dated needs to be grounded because they’re obviously not old enough to deserve such a farthead opinion. It’s the gold standard by which I judge all other horror films, not just zombie films. Whereas I typically enjoy horror-comedy films more frequently, it’s only because good straight-up horror (which I prefer) is so damn hard to come by. Dawn of the Dead is straight-up horror. There are laughs in it, but it’s not jokey or poking fun at the genre as if the filmmakers are above horror. (See: nearly every mainstream horror film after Scream… actually, don’t see that shit. My bad.)

Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead have gone mainstream despite being genre fiction because they’re infused with believable characters and drama. That and they not only make you wonder about who dies next, but they make you care. Dawn did all that way before the newer stuff did. It’s not just horror, it’s adult drama. But above all, it’s a fantasy film: everyone wonders what they’d do in a Shit-Hit-The-Fan situation, but Dawn exploits that fantasy better than any other zombie and/or apocalypse feature by shacking its main characters up in a shopping mall. On top of that, Romero makes us wonder why living in a shopping mall should be a fantasy and what that means about our culture. The zombies in the film, of course, are drawn to the shopping mall, but they don’t know why. Yes, it’s a social commentary on American consumerism, yatta-yatta-yatta… but seriously, living in a shopping mall would kick ass.

The movie is all about contrast: on one hand you have this intentionally goofy elevator music scoring the scenes of dead roaming the mall. This is offset by dread-inducing music by Goblin (frequent collaborator of Dario Argento, who also worked on the picture), which reminds us how fucked everything is the second we hear it. I’ve said this before on this blog, but it should be repeated: my favorite thing about the movie is, once they’ve cleared the mall of zombies, the main characters are allowed to relax. This is something so many horror movies fail to do that even the 2004 remake missed the mark. What it all comes down to is the absolute most spectacular climax in horror film history.

Roman Polanski’s Rosemary’s Baby

This (or John Carpenter’s The Thing) is probably my second favorite horror film for the fact that it, like Dawn of the Dead, also taps into a disturbing fantasy almost all westerners have: Who are your neighbors? I mean, really? Who is the person you sleep with every night? Do you really know? And, the most obvious question it asks: Who will my children be?

Again, this is why I hate younger “moviegoers” out there. They miss the humor. They call it boring. But me? I personally don’t understand why The Exorcist is considered such a classic and this one isn’t. I don’t mean to spoil it, but what ultimately happens to the main character is probably the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to somebody, but she takes it in stride in an ending as bizarre as it gets.

Hausu

I don’t even know how to summarize this picture, but I would probably say it is, hands down, the most insane ride a horror film has ever given me. I mean, sure, a lot of movies try to be insane, but Hausu really is. Here’s what I wrote about a while back when it was a little fresher in my mind.

You’re Next

Here it is, the newest movie you’ll see on this list. Look, I liked Cabin in the Woods as much as the next guy (I really did), but You’re Next dropped the meta-horror angle and suckered us into thinking it was going to be a routine horror film before jerking the carpet out from under our feet. It’s violent, it’s funny, but above all it’s fun. It also has Barbara Crampton in it, my childhood crush, not to mention the greatest scream queen who ever lived. People are always going on and on about how an aging movie star has kept her looks, but here Crampton really has.

Philip Kaufman’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers 

Yes, I do mean the remake, not the original, and I think that opinion is becoming a lot less controversial these days. This one is the definitive snatcher film (there have been many including one with Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig), at least until someone makes a proper adaptation of Robert Heinlein’s Puppet Masters. This one had a scene so memorably scary that South Park riffed on it more than twenty years later. (I won’t spoil it, though.) 

David Cronenberg’s The Fly

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Yes, remakes usually suck, but not always. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Cronenberg flick I didn’t like and I’ve seen them all. The one I think doesn’t get enough credit is Videodrome.

Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead 1 & 2

I reviewed the remake here. As should be expected, I hated it. The original films are two of the funnest horror films ever made. Never mind the fact Evil Dead 2 is, in fact, the first remake of the original. And when Sam Raimi left Spider-Man to give us Drag Me to Hell, I couldn’t have been happier. Long live horror Raimi.

Toby Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Every time I see a camera flash in real life, I somehow hear the sound effect from this film. While I inexplicably enjoyed the first sequel and the latest reboot (I know, I know), nothing had me more shocked than when one of the very realistic hillbillies suggested, “We should let grandpa have this one!” That’s the kind of thing no flesh and blood human should ever forget. The movie’s look is the kind of raw power you just can’t duplicate in the digital age, which is another reason I dislike movies made on anything but pre-80s film.

Deliverance

I’ve said before that the seventies was the absolute best time for movies. Here’s the proof in the pudding. While Deliverance doesn’t throw nonstop gore at the viewers, think about this: how often have gore movies actually been scary? Not very often, right? Well, this one is scary. Isn’t that what horror is supposed to be about?

Candyman

Look, I love slasher films as much as the next guy, but you don’t watch them expecting anything new. You just want to see young people die on camera while other young people have sex. That’s only to satisfy the “okay, let’s have fun” craving for horror. That kind of horror has its place, but man, it gets old most of the time.

But every great once and a while there’s a film that totally fucks your brain right out of your head before it kicks you in the ass. Clive Barker’s Candyman did it for me. No young characters here: these are adults in a pretty frightening situation. Maybe it’s not as realistic as I remember it being when I was nine years old, but it’s still refreshing. And that Philip Glass theme gets stuck in my head even though I haven’t seen the movie in over a decade. That’s the true definition of “haunting,” a word too many overuse.

Audition

This is just one of those films. You can almost sympathize with the bad guy (girl) because she’s obviously not right. You can almost convince yourself the main character deserves it… well, some of it. To say anymore gives too much of it away and, unlike a lot of the other films on this list, I’m not so sure the shocking stuff has been widely spoiled yet. Speaking of spoilers most people have discovered before seeing the actual movie….

Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho

There has never been a stabbing so subversively brutal. And there has rarely been a character as creepy as Anthony Perkins’ Norman Bates. I think it’s a shame that most people who see this for the first time will go into it knowing the mid-movie shock, because that was something so ahead of its time it’s still avoided to this day. Although it may not be my favorite Hitchcock film (I’m partial to his more adventurous outings like North by Northwest), it is undeniably horror and therefor it belongs on my list of favorites.

Pontypool

This movie came so far out of left field for me I never would have expected it would end up on this list before I saw it.

Thirteen more of my favorites will post at midnight (Oklahoma time).