It’s October. Time to talk horror. This year I’m reviewing a different horror movie each day of the month.
Say the opening credits: Original Idea by Charles Band. I’m not sure about “original.” If you’re expecting anything other than a throwback to 50s monster movies, you’re gonna be disappointed. You might be disappointed anyway. Movies like this are only as good as their mad scientist. The scientist in Seedpeople could’ve been great—he’s a kooky drunk with UV lights taped to his head and arms—but he’s relegated to explaining the plot, which really isn’t complicated enough to warrant as much dialogue as they give it.
Before we go any further, I just want to point out the greatest thing Seedpeople has to offer is the following line, spoken by a not-too bright farmer who’s just stumbled upon an alien spore, Blob-style: “What in the ding-dong-heck-a-ma-doodle is that?” It may be the dumbest line in movie history. And I love it.
The film is set in a remote town called Comet Valley. Conveniently, there’s a single bridge which leads in and out of the community. Even more convenient: it’s about to be closed for maintenance. The main character arrives just before they close it down. He’s a geologist (or something) who’s still in love with an ex-girlfriend who now runs a bed and breakfast. She’s also dating the town sheriff, who hates the main character in a junior high school kind of way. Which is to say nothing about the main character’s childish advances on his old flame: he pursues her with a persistence that’s downright creepy.
I’m a fan of Full Moon movies, but I just can’t recommend this one. Although there’s plenty of cheese to enjoy, the movie itself is boringly routine. But that’s the great thing about horror movies: the bad ones remind you to cherish the good ones.
Come back at midnight Central Time for the next movie.
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