American Hustle is a delightful con

1978. Christian Bale’s Irving Rosenfeld, a sleazy man with a beer belly and a penchant for cheap jewelry, is preparing what another character describes as “an elaborate comb-over.” The comb-over is less about his ego and more of a disguise. He doesn’t want most people to know anything about him, least of all the truth. Thus is the life of a professional con artist.

Sydney (Amy Adams) explains that despite his physique and the aforementioned comb-over, she fell in love with Irving for one reason: his confidence. On their first date, he takes her to one of the dry cleaners he owns and lets her choose whatever she wants from the clothing that never got picked up. The scene is somehow just as sweet as it is funny. It isn’t long before Sydney is drawn into Irving’s world of running confidence scams. By the end of the movie, as Irving is worn down by the complexity of their schemes and the danger they find themselves in, she may be better at the game than him.

When the pair of criminals are caught by FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper), the ambitious young man offers them a deal: help the Bureau entrap corrupt politicians or he’ll send them both to prison. The trio target Mayor Carmine Polito (Jeremy Renner) who, ironically, is probably the most honest person in the entire film. Dazzled by the con artists’ world, DiMaso slips from the straight-and-narrow path, believing he’s been accepted as part of the team. Meanwhile, Irving and Sydney are in fact running a separate con on him and everyone else who crosses their paths. As the Italian mafia enter the picture, Sydney tells Irving, “We’ve got to get over on all these guys.”

Amy Adams is so fucking good in this scene, she gives me chills. Jennifer Lawrence, playing Irving’s disgruntled and hilariously bad-tempered wife Rosalyn, is almost as good. There’s a scene in which Rosalyn sees Sydney for the first time and just knows, intuitively, she’s the woman who keeps Irving out all hours of the night. Meanwhile Louis C.K., playing DiMaso’s supervisor at the FBI, has a great running gag involving the world’s most pointless story about ice fishing.

American Hustle is as quickly paced and entertaining as any Scorsese movie, though with surprisingly little violence. I suspect the reason Irving and Sydney love Duke Ellington so much is because that’s how this film moves: like jazz. The beats aren’t always where you expect them. Director David O. Russell is unconcerned with comforting rhythms as he seemingly improvises the film’s style on the fly.

I watch movies obsessively. American Hustle may not seem like much to the casual moviegoer, but it’s a lightning rod for those of us who savory every detail, no matter how small. The characters do immoral things, but they’re far from bad and they’re downright lovable. This is my favorite movie of the year.

My favorite games of 2013

Bioshock Infinite

The single-player experience of the year. The writing is superb, the characters are deeply written, and the ending is out of this world. Easily the best FPS since Portal 2.

Grand Theft Auto V (Consoles)

Like I’ve said before: I like GTA more than most people and this one did not disappoint.

Rise of the Triad

Duke Nukem Forever, take note: this is what you should have been. Rise of the Triad is a remarkably slick throwback to the heyday of PC shooters.

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

You play a Micheal Beihn character in the future… as imagined with B-movie one-liners and gags. The game becomes a lot more precious when you realize Ubisoft took an uncharacteristic risk with one of their flagship franchises.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf (3DS)

An absolute delight no matter what age you are. 

Diablo III (Console Edition)

The PC version of Diablo III made my list last year, but I had more fun with the console edition as it added the ability to couch-play with friends. Plus, there have been a handful of patches since it launched on PC so the game ranks a little higher this year. (It’s still not as good as Diablo 2.)

Baldur’s Gate: Enhanced Edition

No, this version of the D&D classic doesn’t have a lot mods (yet), but it’s a nice throwback to the days PC gaming stood apart from the gaming experiences to be had elsewhere.

Sim City

I know, I know: fuck EA, right? I came late to the party so a lot of the launch bullshit was fixed. Plus, I didn’t have to spend $50 for a broken piece of junk (I picked it up at a discount). I was surprised by how much fun I had, at least until I reached the pathetic city size limit. I probably won’t play it again, as SC4 is still the better game, but I felt zero buyer’s remorse.

XCOM: Enemy Within

Honestly, I couldn’t tell you exactly what Enemy Within adds to Enemy Unknown (my memory is so bad, I keep getting the needlessly similar titles mixed up), but it was fun to play through it again.

Papers, Please

The minimal graphics and droning soundtrack may sound like detriments, but this is one unique indie game. Your morality plays a big part.

Civilization 5: Brave New World

Again, I couldn’t tell you everything this expansion adds to the base game, but hell, I’ve got a chance to put Civilization on my list so I’m going to take it.

Gone Home

When I was a kid, all I wanted was a game that let you do whatever you want in a big mansion with secrets (Maniac Mansion, I’m sure, was the inspiration for this dream). Gone Home does it in a down-to-earth way.

Shadowrun Returns

The linear gameplay and lack of freedom was disappointing, but it’s a great vibe. You will probably only like it if you’re a Shadowrun fan; I barely qualify as I don’t think cyberpunk needs fantasy mixed into it and I’ve never played the tabletop game.

Forza Motorsport 5 (Xbox One)

If you need a reason to get the Xbox One, this is it. 

Peggle 2 (Xbox One)

I used to love puzzle games, but ever since the handheld market was flooded by them, I kind of lost interest. Peggle 2 changed that for me. It initially seems to be a game of luck until you start attempting the many challenges. The graphics, sound, and music are charming as hell.

Event Horizon doesn’t affect the outside observer

When Sam Neill attempts to explain black holes to his crew members, they roll their eyes. One says, “Singularities? Speak English!” I can’t imagine a depressing future in which people who live in space are lost at the mere mention of singularities, but Paul W.S. Anderson apparently can. He’s the guy who made Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, and Alien Versus Predator. He’s got as much taste as a toenail.

The Event Horizon, an interstellar ship with an experimental gravity drive, has vanished. Seven years later, it mysteriously reappears, orbiting Neptune. A second ship is sent to investigate. Sam Neill is the scientist who designed the Event Horizon, Laurence Fishburne is the captain, and Kathleen Quinlan looks great in a tank top. Due to unforeseen circumstances, the rescue vessel is damaged and the crew have to swap ships. Unfortunately, the Event Horizon begins to make the characters hallucinate. We’ll soon find out it’s been places it shouldn’t have been and brought something sinister back with it.

It’s fair to compare Event Horizon to Alien, even though that’s like comparing restroom graffiti to Picasso. On second thought, it’s actually among the better Alien rip-offs (and some of the official sequels, to be honest), because instead of yet another alien running around, it at least tries to do something different with the supernatural angle. I often see Event Horizon regarded with reverence in movie forums, and I certainly see why others love it, but I just wish it were a little more fun.

To be clear, it’s okay for horror films not to be fun, but those need to be exceptionally good in other ways. Event Horizon is not exceptionally good in any way. It’s not just joyless, it’s pointlessly joyless, partially because the director has the emotional complexity of a housefly. Compare it to another Sam Neill horror movie, one that’s also as serious as a heart attack: Possession. That’s a movie that actually has something to say and it’s even more unsettling than this one.

I’ll be the first to admit Event Horizon isn’t without merits. The set designs look fantastic, though there’s no logical reason for the maintenance lighting to turn eerie colors or for there to be a hundred headlights all over the wormhole generator. The CGI is terrible, but the rest of the special effects are top notch. I’ve heard tale that there’s a more graphic cut somewhere in the studio’s vault. I have the sneaking suspicion that’s a better film than this, the watered down theatrical version. I would be extremely interested to see it some day.

As is, Event Horizon just isn’t my cup of tea. Almost, but not quite.