Month: January 2013

Old Man’s War is the new man’s military SF

I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife’s grave. Then I joined the army.

John Perry is an old man from future Ohio who joins the army for a second shot at life. In Old Man’s War, which seems to be equal parts fan fiction and satire of Robert A. Heinlein’s military fiction, members of the armed forces receive benefits unavailable to everyday citizens. If you join the army on your seventy-fifth birthday, you receive the luxury of a new body. Then you’re shuffled off to boot camp on a remote planet where you’re about to discover that the disgusting, evil-looking aliens are actually your allies. (It’s the peaceful looking deer aliens who you’ve gotta watch out for.)

Remember Kick the Can? It was the episode of The Twilight Zone (remade by Steven Spielberg as a segment of the movie version) in which a group of elderly people learn how to be young again. That’s what Old Man’s War reminds me of. It’s as if a large group of seventy-five year olds relive their first day of school on an intergalactic scale. For a long, opening section of the book, it’s whimsical fantasy. In the second section it turns dark, but manages to retain a lot of its charm.

It’s worth noting that Scalzi originally self-published Old Man’s War on his blog, where it became so popular that Tor picked it up. In only a few years, Scalzi went from being a self-published author to the head of the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America. Oh, and Paramount optioned Old Man’s War into a movie. Sure, options are a dime a dozen, but I imagine this movie will actually get made if Ender’s Game performs well.

Our Hausu, in the middle of our street

Yesterday I was asked, “What’s the most absurd horror movie you’ve ever seen?” I was surprised how quickly the answer came to me. It was obviously Hausu.

Sure, there’s bound to be more absurd movies that I’ve either forgotten or haven’t seen. But when someone asks questions like that, the person isn’t asking for shitty recommendations. Hausu is as close as you can get to full blown insanity without sacrificing a cohesive and enjoyable experience. It’s fast, it’s funny, and it’s ridiculously out of its mind.

Hausu is among the best times I’ve ever had watching a movie. To this day, I still don’t know exactly what it’s about. To avoid confusing this masterpiece with the numerous other movies called House, I will refer to it as Hausu. Yes, I just called Hausu a masterpiece. It should appeal to anyone with a pulse.

I’d typically mention something about the plot by now. What’s the point? There’s a house. It’s haunted. There’s a cat. It’s crazy. Heads will fly. Literally.

‘Nuff said.

Nightbreed: The Cabal Cut

I haven’t seen Nightbreed in at least a decade, but I saw it a lot and I remember that sometimes I liked it, sometimes I didn’t. If there’s anything my multiple viewings had in common, it was this: the movie is confusing. Said one of my friends, “I love that movie, but it really doesn’t make any sense!”

There’s a reason the theatrical cut doesn’t make a lick of sense: the studio panicked when the film performed poorly for test audiences. The execs ordered several weeks of re-shoots and attempted to turn a monster movie into a slasher film (slashers were more commercial at the time) and predictably failed. Instead of releasing the film around Halloween of ’89, the studio moved it to February of the next year because nothing says “Valentine’s Day” like monster/slasher mayhem. Needless to say, the movie bombed.

I remember hearing rumors about missing footage some time ago. I didn’t think much of it—these things usually just get your hopes up. According to an excellent article in the latest issue of Rue Morgue, however, the footage hasn’t just been found, there’s a new cut of the film. That’s the good news… the bad news is this long lost footage was found on VHS dubs of the master. The current state of The Cabal Cut (Cabal being the name of Barker’s original novella) is a patchwork of VHS scenes and DVD footage. Despite the alternating quality, the screenings of the project are reportedly doing well.

Apparently the studio is taking notice. These kind of movies typically perform much better years after they find their cult following. According to Clive Barker and the other guys involved with The Cabal Cut, Morgan Creek Productions gave them permission to screen the film as a way to gauge interest. So one day there could very well be an official version of The Cabal Cut, but I won’t hold my breath.