Most people who give a shit about Batman have probably already seen The Dark Knight Rises. I just feel no urgency to see a movie that’s going to make a billion dollars anyway and I’d rather give my money to Dredd any day of the week. Besides, going to the multiplex fills me with as much dread as getting up for work after a long night at the bar.

Speaking of dread (Have you seen Dredd?), I have a hunch that Nolan was burnt out on the idea of making another Batman movie this soon. If it took him so many years to write Inception (twelve, by his count), I can see how he may have felt pressured wrapping the series up, particularly after the serendipitous forces that made the previous film so unusually good. Nolan does a remarkable job, all things considered, but it’s not even as good as his first Batman picture.

The Dark Knight Rises opens with an airborne heist. We’ve seen that a million times, in a few James Bond films and Cliffhanger. Other than the introduction of Bane, the film’s powerhouse villain, there really isn’t a lot to discuss here. I mean, they’re not hijacking gold bars or anything as tired as like that, so it’s fresh enough and the photography is exceptional. There’s a punk rock energy to Tom Harden’s performance in the sense his version of Bane sounds absolutely ridiculous in the best (least commercial) way possible, as if telling the audience, “This is what I sound like. Don’t like it? Tough shit.”

Cut to a charity event at Wayne Manor. We learn it’s been eight years since Harvey Dent died and Batman disappeared, accused of murder. Gotham is mostly crime-free and Commissioner Gordon comes this close to telling a crowd of people that the district attorney turned into a raging psychopath at the end of the last picture. Bruce Wayne, it turns out, has become a Howard Hughes recluse whose knees are shot. That night, he catches a cat burglar (Anne Hathaway) stealing his mother’s pearls, but gets foiled by his old man cane. (Have you noticed all the franchise heroes are suddenly allowed to age lately? It’s an interesting trend, but a trend nonetheless.)

That’s where the movie lost me. Forget comparing Catwoman’s character to the other films—within the context of this film, the character is too goofy, too Hollywood, and too unbelievable. I’ve seen Schwarzenegger films with fewer one-liners. Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises is like the ewoks in Return of the Jedi. The piece just doesn’t fit the puzzle. Hathaway is great with what she’s given, and predictably looks hot in the part, but this is one of the many reasons I think Nolan needed a little more time to let this one cook.

My second biggest complaint is Marion Cotillard, Wayne’s love interest, who you’ll remember from Inception. Movies in general could use a lot more Cotillard, as far as I’m concerned, but her character in this movie is pretty pointless until the point abruptly emerges. Then there’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love this guy, but here he’s a little too run-of-the-mill. We all knew it when we saw the trailer, so let’s not even pretend this is a spoiler: he’s Robin, but don’t expect to see him suit up in his trademark underwear and leggings in the Nolanverse.

Then there’s the lighthearted comedy relief. It’s not as bad as, say, Johnny Knoxville in any non-Jackass movie he’s ever been in. It’s not even that bad, really… it’s just not right for this film. I know Rises was designed to be lighter than the last film (alluding to Dent’s speech about the night getting darkest before the dawn), but a second heist, and the ensuing car chase, struck me as a little too routine for Nolan. Meanwhile, the scenes where Batman and Catwoman fight side by side are reminiscent of Batman’s goofier days.

About halfway through the movie, Nolan drops blunt hints to the film’s conclusion. He wants us to know what happens in the end because there’s more to it than what you would expect. The ending is vague and it didn’t necessarily work for me at first. Thinking back on it, though… yeah, it works (I guess). As far as trilogy-caps go, Rises is among the best. That’s a rare honor even if the competition isn’t very thick.

You should give your money to Dredd instead.