Western Wednesday: The Ridiculous Six (2015)

Yeah, I know the internet has unanimously decided to hate Adam Sandler, but if I’m going to take this feature seriously, I feel like I’m going to have to review all the new westerns.

Going into it, I knew nothing about The Ridiculous Six other than the fact my Netflix app has been shoving it in my face for the last few days. Having seen the trailer in the time since, I’ll say what I usually say about trailers: avoid it all costs. If I had seen the trailer beforehand, I never would have watched the movie.

It’s kind of silly to discuss this plot, but here goes. It’s the usual SNL-alumni setup, in which the goofy main character has to raise enough money to save _____. It’s like the former cast members of the show are all issued the same template upon graduating, filling in the blanks like a game of Mad Libs. This time Sandler is an orphan who was raised by American Indians. Sounds terrible, doesn’t it? There’s a gag early on in which Sandler’s character takes on a gang of men who all wear eye patches. The cartoonish antics are so embarrassingly bad, a toddler might have written it.

The Left-Eye Gang

One day Sandler’s estranged father, played by Nick Nolte, wanders into camp and confesses he’s grown tired of his life as an outlaw. He’s dying, he says, and wants to do good for a change. Unfortunately, the gang he runs with, which is now led by Danny Trejo, isn’t going to let Nolte retire peacefully. They show up to kidnap him and it’s up to Sandler to steal enough money to pay his ransom.

For the first time in his life, Sandler’s character cuts off his hair, dresses like a white man, and hitches a ride into town with the intention of becoming a bank robber like his old man. There he meets a woman who reveals she knew Sandler’s father. It turns out Sandler has a half-brother and, in perhaps the least surprising twist in movie history, the brother is played by Rob Schneider. Schneider’s character is a Mexican who loves his pet donkey. The donkey, of course, has a flatulence problem because it’s not funny enough that Schneider looks ridiculous riding around on it. This proves to be a lot funnier than the scatological humor Sandler has employed in the past. At one point the donkey farts and Schneider says in his ridiculous accent, “That was a dry one… it means we will be having dry weather tomorrow.”

Soon after employing the donkey’s gastrointestinal skills to rob a bank, the boys meet yet another long lost brother played by Taylor Lautner. There have been Will Ferrell movies which won me over for no other reason than the characters were really, really stupid. (I love watching John C. Reilly try to out-dumb Ferrell, even if I don’t enjoy all of their movies.) Lautner’s character would have fit in just fine with Ferrell’s brand of comedy. It’s clear by then that each major character Sandler meets is going to be a long-lost brother. The rest of the gang includes Lost’s Jorge Garcia as a wild desert man who never learned how to speak, much less read or write; Luke Wilson, who’s responsible for Lincoln’s assassination; and Terry Crews, a piano player whose facial expressions can steal entire scenes. I was pleasantly surprised by how much funnier the movie becomes after the gang assembles.

Steve Zahn is great as usual

If it’s beginning to sound like I liked this movie, it’s because I did. I’m also the only person I know who enjoyed A Million Ways to Die in the West, which might tell you to avoid my opinion at all costs. But consider it this way: Sandler has been making shit for so long, he inevitably got good at it. This is shit of the highest caliber. To compare Six to Sandler’s early attempts at movie-making, in which the entire gimmick was his character ranges from inexplicable baby talk to bipolar rage, is unfair. It’s leagues ahead of that mumble-mouth bullshit. Believe it or not, this is one of the best casts I’ve seen all year. These six actors are somehow pretty great together.

I know the exact moment the film won me over, too: Steve Zahn, who plays the lazy-eyed owner of a trading post, wants to join The Left Eye Gang, so named because new recruits have to pluck their own right eyes out with a sharp spoon. Unfortunately, Zahn’s right eye is his good eye. He tries to reason with his recruiters, but they’re not having it. Zahn’s brainless devotion to the ritual—and the reaction shots of the men watching—is bizarrely hilarious. There’s another scene involving a headless body that’s similarly dark and funny… and extremely stupid.

What I liked most were the bazillion cameos, which is another reason to skip the trailer. A lot of these actors are so unrecognizable, it’s fun trying to figure out who they are. And when you finally figure out who’s playing Mark Twain, you discover a stroke of genius. Seriously. I’m in gleeful awe of this casting decision. Don’t look it up, either, because you’ll just spoil one of the weirdest comedy moments of the year.

my favorite comedy scene in a long time

If, like me, you enjoy the antics of Beavis and Butt-Head because of their extreme stupidity, you might enjoy The Ridiculous Six. But if you’re determined to hold your hatred for Sandler—a quiet, soft-spoken guy who seems agreeable enough in interviews and promo material—then you’re going to hate it.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but Adam Sandler’s latest movie kind of requires an open mind.

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